What is Luxury? or I've Fallen in Love with L.L. Bean

Luxury is warmth. Warmth, dry clothes, and surviving in any weather.

My daughter is turning four this weekend! As we have several feet of snow in our yard from the last two weeks or so of snow, she wants to play outside in it. Of course. When she was outside with my mom for the first snow, I was ripping through all my things, trying to find something warm enough to wear and would keep me dry.

Nothing.

That's not to say I don't have coats. I have nice coats. They are also on the dressier/more fashionable side and hence, not good for playing in the snow.

I wanted snowpants. Strange wish for an adult, but I want snowpants so I can play outside with abandon. And when it comes to being warm and good qulity, L.L. Bean is the ONLY place to go.

L.L. Bean Gift Cards of any denomination are gratefullywelcome.  :)

Quote of the Day- 11/29/2010

"A Mark, a Yen, a Buck, or a Pound;
Buck or a Pound,
A BUCK or a Pound!
Is all that makes the World go around......"

-Kander and Ebb (Geniuses! Very much ahead of their time.)

Grad School Blues

My first semester of Grad School is Hell on Earth.

I thought that since, I have no job and therefore an "open schedule", I'd have plenty of time to devote to my studies despite being a single mom. Nope, that didn't happen. Chores, errands, and trying keep my mom happy when I'm home trying to do my work pretty much killed a lot of drive. Combine that with money worries (especially since I'm sending my daughter to private pre-school, more on that later) and the fact I've definitely failed one class (and am struggling with the rest) has made my semester a disaster.

I struggled to get into this program at the last minute; I had no job and I needed both the financial aid money and health insurance to survive. Plus, I had to convince the program head that my undergrad gpa was not an indicator of my inability to do grad work. Trust me, I would NOT have chosen to be a full-time grad student if my financial situation were not that desparate! One, maybe two classes at the most are what I can handle, but being a part-time student would have meant no financial aid and an upfront bill in order to continue my health insurance. As I am Bi-Polar, it is absolutely critical that I have insurance to cover the cost of my (very expensive) meds and my doctor's visits.

So, I'm going to spend the next 2-3 weeks desparately trying to get my $hit together and crank out the required papers. I really just want to pass my anthro classes; they're more important and besides, I've already failed one public admin class. If I fail the second, it reflects on my lack of preparation and knowledge on public administration. That's my excuse, anyhow.

I'm terrified that I'm going to get kicked out of the program. I hope that, if all fails, I can at least spend a semester on academic probation and redeem myself in the spring (which always happens). Fall classes and schedules always fuck me up anyway. I will even renegotiate my program contract with the head, eliminating the public admin and/or retaking it, including more health science classes, and extend my program into the Fall 2011 semester. I HAVE to get this degree, I have no choice.

I would really very much have a job at this point; a predictable schedule and set of tasks, and not having a constantly overdrawn checking account. My dad keeps pushing me to get my MA as quickly as possible, and rightfully so. But I'm burned out. I am so burned out. With this economy, I'm afraid I will NEVER get a job and be stuck in school, going nowhere for the rest of my life. I am burned out and I am scared. I determined to become financially independent in order to provide for my daughter, but I'm stuck and dependent on a too small amount of child support and the financial good will of my dad. So pathetic. This is not the example I want to set for my daughter.

I want money. I want to pay off all of my bills and debts, move out of my parents' house, and still be able to afford to send my daughter to private school. Tall order, I know.

Why can't my mother do something productive instead of puttering around the house and her church activities all day?

Academic Update

Due tomorrow:

-Boat-load of HIV articles due; especially horrible since I lost 3/4 of my saved articles for this semester.
-Presentation on homebirth vs hospital and it's cultural meanings due in Medical anthropology

Due Thursday:

-Ballet Project Presentation

Due Week from Thrusday:

-Irish dance performance

Due Wed. 5/12:

-Medical Anthropology Paper
-Medical Anthropology Final Exam
-HIV Prevention Paper Due

Saturday, May 15:

GRADUATION!!!!!!!!!!!

I keep reminding myself that I only have to survive two and half more weeks. Here's hoping!

New Job Update

I'm happy to report that the new job is going well!

Yesterday:      1 sale
Today:            3sales

Here's hoping I can get over my last hurdle, that is, following the script with additional offers when people say no. Not looking forward to that part, but I'll go with the flow.

Technilogically challenged, much?

Hello everybody (my non-existent readers, that is), I'm back! More on that later............

Anyways, despite being adapt at using the internet, especially for research, I feel very technilogically-impaired. Why?:

1. I still don't know HTML.

2. I can't keep up with a blog.

3. I can BARELY edit music, and don't even have a program for editing/copying movies. Sad, I know; I should be able to do that about now.

4. Though I own a Blackberry, I feel like I don't fully utilize it. PLUS, I'm eligible for a phone upgrade now (I'm on Verizon) and I have NO idea what to pick!

5. Lost my Ipod shuffle, which was my 1st and didn't even own until LAST YEAR. I want an Ipod, badly. I want to be able to organize my stuff. I want to be able to afford said Ipod and accessories.

6. I now work in telemarketing selling a certain radio subscription product. After working there for three months, I get a FREE subscription. All I need to do is buy the radio. I'm already itching to own that music, as it will make drives with BG easier.

7. Love my laptop, though not a much as my old one. I have what I need, but I need help with upgrades to make it "fully functional" for myself. More expensive there.

8. Desparately need an external hard drive. This hit home this week when I lost most of the semester's worth of my HIV research. I'm still reeling.

So, there's my latest feelings of inadequacy because I do not own certain material goods. There's other things I need/want my money for (and we'll discuss THAT later too.) Still.... I'm getting to the point where I'm almost graduated, I've started working again, and have become MUCH closer to self-sufficiency. Yet I still crave these "unnecessary things."


WHY????????????????????????

My Personal Motto

Following in the revered footsteps of royal and noble predecessors, I have created my own personal motto; well, rather, I decided I'd use a particular phrase of mine, translate it into a few languages, et voila!


Gaeilge: Beidh mé ag aon mháistir ná mistress, ach amháin le haghaidh féin.


Latin: Edo vadum have haud vinco necque nec era, rego super mihi.
 
 
 
English Translation:
 
I shall have no master no mistress, save for myself.